bittersweet.

Life is bittersweet … isn’t it? They say, with age comes wisdom. I feel with age … come more pain, more suffering, more sadness. Grief. Invisible tears. I left home to see the world. Gain more knowledge. I got what I wanted. But when it seems like I’m going higher and higher and higher, theres this tug. Almost like a string tied to my ankle, reminding me theres one last thing to free myself of down on the ground surface. 

And on that surface, when I float down from the clouds of my dreams, is pure evil. Selfish, conniving, cruel, materialistic degenerates, who go to any length to find the worst thing that they can twist and put you down with. So I block them. I cut off my social networking ties, and occupy myself. I surround myself with positive, pure hearted, genuine people. Then I feel freedom. Freedom from the darkness.

& when I feel as if I’m getting closer and closer, higher and higher, and almost living my dream … that tug is there again. 

What is this? … the most pure, loving, kind, beautiful, positive person in my life is afflicted. My mother. I love her so much, and I don’t know what else to do but be strong. I believe if I’m strong for her, she’ll have the strength to pass all she’s suffering. Life is bittersweet. & if I could change the world and save the sick, heal the broken hearted, feed the hungry, and remove the monetary system that has corrupted so many people and is enslaving us all … then I would ask how? Tell me how to make the world a better place with better people.

[I wrote this to keep my privacy, & yet vent. But on a real note, fuck all you selfish ass bastards. One day, you’ll lose everything and gain nothing no matter how hard you try. Because in the end, you lack the heart and sincerity to ever be deserving of anything. & I could give two fucks about what ya’ll do and say to me. Ya’ll in my prayers, to hopefully one day see whats really important.] 1.